Spice it up

Whether we are talking about food or sex, it’s always good to spice things up. As we use sex toys and accessories to enhance our sexcapades, so do we use spices and herbs to enhance our meals.  Walking down the spice aisle in my stiletto’s is like shopping for sex toys in a sex shop – after all... spices and herbs are the sex toys of the food world – they’re enhancers.

Mint - Fresh mint is usually preferred over dried mint and the leaves have a pleasant warm, fresh, aromatic flavour. Just as mint is used to freshen up any meal, so does it freshen one’s breath. And nothing tastes better or enhances the sensation of kissing like a minty mouth.

Parsley- This herb leaf is most popular as a garnish and the appearance adds to any meal presentation. To me, parsley is like lingerie – just as parsley decorates the plate, so does lingerie decorate the body.  

Bay Leaves- Grown in the Mediterranean, bay leaves have a sharp and savoury taste. The whole leaves are added to sauces, stews and soups, but removed before serving. Bay leaves, like anal beads are used during the cooking but are removed just before serving (or just before he ‘serves’)

Cinnamon- Probably the most common baking spice, cinnamon has a sweet and woody taste and comes in powder or stick form. The bigger the woody stick, the better the bake.

Cumin- Available in seed and ground forms, cumin has a nutty, warm flavour. If you’re craving something with a nutty taste, this is the herb to use. We all like the taste of nuts in our mouths.

Paprika- This bright red powder comes from a mild red pepper and the flavours range from sweet and mild to spicy hot. This spice is great when wanting to create a bit of heat. Paprika, like Durex ‘heat’ lubricant, heats up the opening.

Saffron- Since it takes around 35,000 flowers to produce a pound of saffron, saffron is the most expensive spice in the world, but one of the best tasting. Saffron is like those very expensive sex toys in your cupboard– bad on the wallet, but oh so worth it!

Tarragon- The most popular variety is French Tarragon, with the flavor of sweet licorice. Tarragon, like chocolate body paint, can be used when you’re looking to satisfy your sweet tooth – especially when ‘eating in’.

Thyme- Thyme comes from the tiny, gray-green leaves of a herb in the mint family and is often dried and ground.  This herb is not only used a lot in my cooking, but it’s also used a lot in my bedroom – as nothing enhances the duration of a sexcapade like ‘thyme’ – and the longer the better.