Monday, 25 June 2012

Recipe: The perfect cheese platter


Keys hung up, briefcase down. Jacket off, apron on. With black stiletto’s on and glass of wine in hand, I stand in my kitchen. I am in the mood for a sex booster, so a cheese platter it is! With ten times more phenylethylamine then chocolate, cheese releases endorphins into the body and boosts the sex life.  Cheese does not only arouse the physical body by getting the hormones up, but it also arouses the eyes. For me, looking at a cheese platter is like looking at the male phallis in all it’s different forms and phases – and who doesn’t like penis on a plate?

Ingredients:
To make the perfect cheese platter include a mix of chutneys, fresh fruit and some of the following different cheeses:

1.       Surface ripened cheese

Like the uncircumcised penis, this cheese with an intensely flavoured interior, has a wrinkle rind.

2.       Blue cheese

Blue cheese would be compared to those penises that have many visible veins. This cheese gets it’s colour from rich veins of mold and range in texture from creamy to creamy crumbly, to hard.

3.       Hard cheese

This cheese can be said to be like the penis in its most excited phase… hard, very hard. Hard cheese is defined by its firm granular texture and salt-sharp taste.

4.       Soft ripened cheese

Brie and camembert are the best known soft ripened cheese and have a creamy interior, just like every penis has.

5.       Fresh Cheese

Fresh cheese is ready to eat as soon as it is made and has a mild taste. Like any flaccid penis, it’s soft.

6.       Semi-hard cheese

Cheddar and Gouda are the most popular of these cheeses, which are aged anywhere from a few months to a few years – sometimes longer. And in this case, semi-hard cheese, like the penis, gets better with age.

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