Cooking time

Keys hung up, briefcase down. Jacket off, apron on. With black stiletto’s on and a glass of wine in hand, I stand and think about cooking methods and cooking duration. Cooking time, like sex, revolves around duration. Sometimes it lasts long and sometimes it's quick.

Cooking methods

Roasting, smoking, baking and stewing are like those long sex sessions. It's slow, lasts long and just as the meat slides off the bone after being under one of these cooking methods - so do you feel like your legs are going to fall off your body after one of these long sex sessions.

Flashbaking, searing, stir frying and blanching are like those quick "wham, bam, thank you mam'" sex sessions. It's hot and heavy and lasts a few minutes. After searing the meat it needs to relax and the same can be said about your body after one of these 'quickies'.

Pressure cooking is taking a meal, or meat, that requires a long time to cook but cooking it in a pressurised pot so that it takes less time to cook. It's like wanting to have a long sex session but trying to cram it into a 'quickie' - every second counts.

Double steaming can be said to be like two sex sessions in one. This is when the first session leaves the woman without climaxing and she makes him go again, within the time frame of 5 minutes, in order for her orgasm. 

Braaiing, or barbecuing, requires marination of the meat. Although this cooking method is generally quick, it actually requires a long cooking preparation time, similar to that of the first mentioned methods. Marination is like foreplay.  You have to get the 'meat' ready before you 'put it on the flame'.

Deep frying is a mixture of slow cooking methods and the 'quickie' methods. It encompasses the long duration of the long cooking methods, with the 'heat' of the 'quickie' methods.

...When it comes to cooking - always deep fry.